As far as the neighborhood concerns go, I often found that issue with "density" and "traffic" are often just their way of dressing up concerns about economic and racial diversity.
One of the nuttiest discussions I've ever seen on hotel concerns was on a Nextdoor topic about a proposed hotel in Hometown in North Richland Hills. The lot was on the edge of the commercial section of the development and a couple of blocks from an elementary school. The reasons against it were insane: traffic (120 rooms), transients using it for a long stay, sex offenders casing the school by living there secretly, events like weddings and conferences creating traffic (no event space and it was right across from the rec center that already hosted those events), people taking advantage of the multi-story building to spy on backyard pools (building was 50 feet tall, closest homes 1/4 mile away, geometry is a little off there).
lol, I remember that, he actually had multiple projects slated in the city and walked away from them all in disgust. Who knows how many millions that cost the city hence, more taxes those people complaining will have to pay to offset it. Developers are frankly getting really fed up with this type of thing, not just the NIMBY;s but also city councils with ridiculous demands and they don't just walk away from a project in a lot of cases now they walk away from cities vowing to never build there again at all
I'm not sure if those instances had to do with incentives or something else. Incentives are, of course, not something anyone is automatically entitled to. Now, if the City flip-flops on someone then that is a very valid criticism.
The City, in general, needs to treat property owners and developers with respect and like partners, working toward an acceptable solution. And vice-versa. If any people involved with the process of development view developers/prop owners as adversaries, and do not view their role as working toward solutions, then that person should not work in City government. That isnt to say that all development should just get a green light. The developers/prop owners have to work toward acceptable solutions too.